Recipe for Chicken Carpaccio

Hiya, home cooks! Time to sharpen those knives, ’cause today you’re going to cook right along with me.

Today we’ll be makin’ some nice chicken carpaccio. You need 1 (one) chicken, a lemon, two eggs, yeast, a knife, a blender, vanilla extract, ketchup, vinegar, and some pepper. 

To start with, slay the chicken and dunk it in some vinegar.

After generously seasoning with pepper and ketchup, baste the bird with some vanilla extract. Make sure to sing a hymn while doing this, this yields better results.
Crack 2 (two) eggs in the blender. 
Add in your chicken, some ketchup and some yeast. Add in vanilla extract according to taste.
Allow the mixture to ferment for at least two years.
 Serve with an entire lemon and your deepest apologies. Bon appetit.

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