Misc Silly Lists

How to be a REAL writer: 6 Tips You Can’t Live Without

You hear that? Pop. That’s the sound of me popping your cherry. Your WRITING cherry, that is! Come on now. You might have penned a couple of fantasy works, written a short story on the meaning of life, or written a cutesy poem or two. It doesn’t matter. Nothing you write matters unless you get that sweet, sweet revenue and do everything exactly the way I tell you. You can trust me, I published a…

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Short Stories Silly Lists

10 WORST games of the year!

We went on a journey. A journey to the darkest reaches of video entertainment. These aren’t just disappointing. They’re not just boring dime-a-dozen shovelware. No, these are worse. Long after the industry has crumbled, when the statues are rotten and the bodies are buried, these games will live on. Gazing. Seeing. Judging. It will be the sole surviving evidence of our existence. 10. Plumber Problems Okay, where do we even start with this one. What…

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Short Stories Silly Lists

Department of Esoteric Faiths

Recently, a set of papers has gone missing from the offices of the Department of Esoteric Faiths. These papers appear to be briefing newly trained agents on the various targets of the Department’s research. Apathy’s Dawn “Frankly, it’s hard to care about these guys. Just let them do whatever it is they do in their little forest temples, they’re not bothering anyone. There’s the issue of the occasional drowned body floating down the river in…

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Short Stories Silly Lists

As Seen On TV

[THE SELLEVISION LOGO FADES. LARRY WALKS ON STAGE, CARRYING A STACK OF PAPERS.] Good evening, tv-watching folks! Welcome once again to Sellevision, the completely televised catalogue of things you didn’t KNOW you needed! [AUDIENCE CHEERS] I’m your host, Larry. Yknow, from accounting? That Larry. Hiya! [AUDIENCE CHEERS] So. Y’know, we’ve got some uh, some real good stuff for you on offer today. It’s a very special episode, after all. Can’t air a program without doing…

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Silly Lists

Uncle Bobo’s Prize Catalogue

Researchers exploring a warehouse on the edge of reality found the place known only as “Uncle Bobo’s Prize Depot”, which had various prizes to be awarded to children that sold cases of salve for the company. Grab Bag of Axes, Knives and Guns– A bag full of deadly weaponry and a pardon letter. Glass Eye– A glass eye. Pupil dilates when it is brought near children’s cartoon merchandise. Marble Ocarina– An ocarina that can only…

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Silly Lists

Vortex Diner

Hi! We are so, so very glad you chose our humble restaurant as the place to get your meal for the day. Study the menu carefully, and make your selection. We have a wide variety of tasty treats, sure to please even the pickiest of eaters. Appetizers Frolic Bread: Ten slices of bread seasoned with garlic squeezin’s, our secret blend of herbs, and a sprinkling of arsenic. The Big Boy: Combining 300 kg of black…

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Silly Lists

8 Elvis Presley facts you DID NOT KNOW!

Everyone knows Elvis Presley. Everyone LOVES Elvis Presley. We know you love this man. You probably know everything about him. I can smell it on you. You consider yourself an Elvis geek. A regular detective, scouring for info on The King every hour of your life. But you don’t know everything. Elvis was a big eater. He started every day with an entire canned ham, and towards lunch he would usually be found snacking on…

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Short Stories Silly Lists

“Spongebob Squarepants” JUMPED the SHARK after the first movie, and here’s why

We all love Spongebob Squarepants, the wackiest cartoon out there. It’s been with us since July 17, 1999. However, after the first movie got released, the show took a massive dive in quality and we, the fans, started abandoning The Sponge. Here is a list of a few reasons why everyone knows that this lovely cartoon started jumping the shark. Spongebob legally changed his name to “Marijuanabob Weedpants” (Seriously, Nickelodeon? KIDS SHOW!) Spongebob stopped wearing…

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Short Stories Silly Lists

Reasons “Happy Days” Stopped Being Good After The Fourth Season

Everyone loves the wacky antics of Arthur Herbert “Fonzie” Fonzarelli. However, most people agree that Happy Days, after the infamous fourth season, REALLY stopped being fun to watch. Here’s a couple of reasons. Fonzie screwed up the shark jump and got eaten Chuck Cunningham came back but no one acknowledged his existence and he didn’t do anything other than sit on the stairs and spin his basketball Richie Cunningham won a million dollars in the…

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