Misc

Thank you for purchasing a copy of Digital Elvis! Touch the screen to interact, and feed him “likes” to encourage him to grow strong and eventually, battle others! Uh oh. Seems you ran out of Energy. No more Digital Elvis for you, or his health will start to degenerate! Alternatively, purchase Pelvis Bones to speed up the timer. ALERT It has been twelve days since you checked on Digital Elvis. Forgetting to feed him precious…

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Misc Silly Lists

How to be a REAL writer: 6 Tips You Can’t Live Without

You hear that? Pop. That’s the sound of me popping your cherry. Your WRITING cherry, that is! Come on now. You might have penned a couple of fantasy works, written a short story on the meaning of life, or written a cutesy poem or two. It doesn’t matter. Nothing you write matters unless you get that sweet, sweet revenue and do everything exactly the way I tell you. You can trust me, I published a…

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Misc Short Stories

The Bag

1966, Somewhere in Arizona The cloudless sky is disturbed by the emergence of a pristine Chrysler C-300, which hurtles into a nearby junkyard at breakneck speeds. Landing surprisingly unscathed apart from the sand on the rims, the door opens to reveal a mysterious figure. Black fringed jacket. Dark red turtleneck and jeans. Pointed dress shoes, the sunlight gleaming off the marble tips. It exits the vehicle, carrying with it a cherry red bowling bag, adorned…

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Misc Short Stories

An entry for the Sunless Skies Launch Contest

A whisper. Well, more of a fiery shout, considering the language it’s spoken in. “WELL THEN.” The Employer. Battered, yet unbroken. A spire torn off by sharp claws, hurtling through the void towards destinations unknown. You wonder what the future will think of its remains, though your thoughts are more fixed on the unfathomable cadaver drifting below. Could something like this even die? Its stillness suggests so. You tilt your vanes towards a bright noise,…

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Short Stories

Insomniac

Lately, my sleep had been disturbed. Not by a cold draft through the bedroom, or an inferior matress as I first suspected. It was the dreams. They started around the same time I began waking up as tired as when I turned in for the night. I would open my eyes, and stare into an impossibly bright light shining down on my face. I would try to move my arms to shield my face, but…

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Short Stories Silly Lists

10 WORST games of the year!

We went on a journey. A journey to the darkest reaches of video entertainment. These aren’t just disappointing. They’re not just boring dime-a-dozen shovelware. No, these are worse. Long after the industry has crumbled, when the statues are rotten and the bodies are buried, these games will live on. Gazing. Seeing. Judging. It will be the sole surviving evidence of our existence. 10. Plumber Problems Okay, where do we even start with this one. What…

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Longer Tales Short Stories

Cash and Prizes

THWAP You kick in the door to ‘Uncle’ Bobo’s Gift Depot, trying your best not to pay attention to the hissing of what you assume is stale air escaping from the forsaken warehouse. You’re not alone, being joined by two masked fellows from the Ministry of the Occult. Honestly though, you could probably have handled taking notes by yourself. Having to take these two bumbling idiots along just complicates matters. No reason to suspect any…

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Short Stories Silly Lists

Department of Esoteric Faiths

Recently, a set of papers has gone missing from the offices of the Department of Esoteric Faiths. These papers appear to be briefing newly trained agents on the various targets of the Department’s research. Apathy’s Dawn “Frankly, it’s hard to care about these guys. Just let them do whatever it is they do in their little forest temples, they’re not bothering anyone. There’s the issue of the occasional drowned body floating down the river in…

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Short Stories

Sputum

As you open your eyes, you are greeted by the hazy blue light of The Den. You feel a dreadful sensation, as if your mind is trying to adjust its focus to the reality it’s finding itself in. You wipe a trickle of dried-up vomit from your cheek, and notice the candle next to you is close to extinguishing itself just from your breathing. You mumble in confusion, and roll over, coming face to face…

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